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A Secular Wedding Ceremony

Dear family and friends, we have gathered here today to witness and celebrate the wedding of Groom and Bride. Surrounded as we are by those we most love, let us turn our hearts and minds to the two before us who wish to bind their lives together, in peace, and in love, thus celebrating the beauty and joy of life.

It has been said that no man is an island entire to himself. We are involved in all humanity and each time two people come together to blend their lives as one, it is a reaffirmation of human courage, hope and love. Marriage is the supreme sharing of experience and an adventure in the most intimate of human relationships. It is the joyous uniting of a couple whose comradeship and mutual understanding have flowered into romance. Today, Groom and Bride proclaim their love to the world and we who are gathered here rejoice with them and for them in the new life they now undertake together.

Marriage is the promise of hope between two people who love each other sincerely, who honor each other as individuals, and who wish to unite their lives and share the future together. In this ceremony, they dedicate themselves to the happiness and well-being of each other, in a union of mutual caring and responsibility. We rejoice with them that out of all the world they have found each other; and that they will henceforth find the deeper meaning and richness of human life in sharing it with each other.

Your marriage requires “love.” When we love, we see things other people do not see. To see with loving eyes is to know inner beauty and to be loved is to be seen and known as we are known to no other. When you give yourself, heart and mind, into the hands of the one you love, you receive that most precious of gifts - the life and love of another. We are loved when another human being wants us, wishes to share their life with us, accepts us, without qualification or reservation, not as perfect, but as human, with strengths and weaknesses.

Love endures only when the lovers love many things together and not merely each other. When they share the same values, hold the same interests. You will need to be able to trust one another and learn, as well, to depend on one another. Do not forget the love that you share today, try to continue to show your appreciation and admiration on a daily basis throughout the rest of your lives.

A successful marriage is based on love, equality, respect, and commitment on the part of both, in which each must adjust to the other's temperaments and moods. In marriage two persons turn to each other in search of greater fulfillment than either can achieve alone. Marriage should be a growing and dynamic relationship, a dream of tomorrow in which we grow and fulfill our possibilities. It is wondrous when someone believes in the dream of ourselves and wants to live with us and help make these dreams and aspirations come true.

Marriage is a dedication. You give yourself, your life and love, into the hands of the one you love. You do so trustingly and generously. Yet, each of you also receives a gift – the life and love of the other. You receive this gift not only from the one you love, but also from their family and friends. We are here to share your joy and to witness your first steps along the path that you are now to tread together. May it be a path of deepening and widening love that you shall travel together until the end of your days.

Two among us who have stood apart, come now in our presence to declare their love, and to be united in marriage, facing the world strong, with the courage of two. May they learn to share life’s trials, and grow in understanding and devotion to each other. May love and companionship abide in the home they establish. May they grow old together, in health and contentment, ever grateful for the union of their lives so that they will say “Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.” May they wake up each morning glorying in the joy that they awake once again next to their chosen one, their beloved. May they always need one another, not to fill an emptiness, but to help each other know fullness. May they embrace one another, but not encircle one another. May they have happiness, and may they find it in making one another happy. May they have love, and may they find it in loving one another.

Now we have Bride and Groom before us, who wish to take their place among those who have said yes to living, yes to the hard task of loving, and yes to the best that humanity stands for. This celebration is the outward token of an inner union of hearts. It is a union created by their loving purpose and kept by their abiding will. It is in this spirit and for this purpose that they have come here to be joined together.

I understand that they have written their own vows. Groom, will you please read your vows now? Bride…

We are especially grateful for the values that have been instilled in Bride and Groom from those who have loved and nurtured them. The family and friends each brings to this marriage will continue to be important in their lives, but now will be shared between them, and will be enriched and enlarged. Do you, who are here present, promise and commit yourselves to support and uphold their union?
(Answer: “We do”)

Our celebration of the union of Groom and Bride is shared by those who have passed beyond this life. Their roles in the lives of Groom and Bride are no less remembered and honored as we savor today’s joyous moments. Join with us, then, in fond memory of all these people, and in particular with (departed relatives names). In their memory, let us be silent together.

Traditionally, the marriage ceremony is marked by the exchange of rings. The wedding ring is a symbol of the unbroken circle of love; a reminder that love freely given has no beginning and no end, no giver and no receiver - for each is the giver and each is the receiver. May these rings remind you always of the vows you have taken here today.

Groom, please take Bride's ring, and as you place it on the ring finger of her left hand, repeat after me . . . With this ring I thee wed . . . promising to love and respect you, . . . sharing good times and bad, . . . in sickness and in health.

Bride, please take Groom's ring, and as you place it on the ring finger of his left hand, repeat after me . . . With this ring I thee wed . . . promising to love and respect you, . . . sharing good times and bad, . . . in sickness and in health.

Since you love each other in your hearts, and have promised to help each other to live and grow, in wisdom and compassion, with these rings you bind your lives together for as long as you both shall live.

The miracle of love is like the miracle of a flower. It thrives upon the sunshine of a smile. It entwines itself around the heart. Its roots are secured in the memories of yesterday, and its petals breathe the promise of joy filled tomorrows. To be loved is to know happiness and contentment. To give love is to know the joy of sharing oneself. It is through the miracle of love that we discover the fullness of life.

Bride and Groom, now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter to the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there is no more loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are one heart in two bodies, and there is only one life before you. Now you enter into the days of your togetherness . . . May those days be good, and long, upon this earth.

Bride and Groom, as you embark on this wonderful journey ahead of you, hand in hand, experiencing life together, may all that is true and beautiful be with you always . . . May there be peace in your home, quietness and confidence in your thoughts, and joy and celebration in your hearts.

Dear friends and family, since Groom and Bride have thus pledged themselves in the presence of this company and they have spoken the words and performed the rites which unite their lives, I do now, by the powers vested in me by the laws of the State of Kansas/Missouri, pronounce that you are husband and wife.

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We have come together here in celebration of the joining together of Bride and Groom. There are many things to say about marriage. Much wisdom concerning the joining together of two souls, has come our way through all paths of belief, and from many cultures. With each union, more knowledge is gained and more wisdom gathered. Though we are unable to give all this knowledge to these two, who stand before us, we can hope to leave with them the knowledge of love and its strengths and the anticipation of the wisdom that comes with time. The law of life is love unto all beings. Without love, life is nothing, without love, death has no redemption. Love is anterior to Life, posterior to Death, initial of Creation and the exponent of Earth. If we learn no more in life, let it be this.

Marriage is a bond to be entered into only after considerable thought and reflection. As with any aspect of life, it has its cycles, its ups and its downs, its trials and its triumphs. With full understanding of this, Groom and Bride have come here today to be joined as one in marriage. Others would ask, at this time, who gives the bride in marriage, but, as a woman is not property to be bought and sold, given and taken, I ask simply if she comes of her own will and if she has her family's blessing.

[FATHER] She comes with me, her father, and is accompanied by all of her family's blessings.

[Officiant] Please join hands with your betrothed and listen to that which I am about to say. Above you are the stars, below you are the stones, as time doth pass, remember...

Like a stone should your love be firm like a star should your love be constant. Let the powers of the mind and of the intellect guide you in your marriage, let the strength of your wills bind you together, let the power of love and desire make you happy, and the strength of your dedication make you inseparable. Be close, but not too close. Possess one another, yet be understanding. Have patience with one another, for storms will come, but they will pass quickly.

Be free in giving affection and warmth. Have no fear and let not the ways of the unenlightened give you unease, for God is with you always.

Groom, I have not the right to bind thee to Bride, only you have this right. If it be your wish, say so at this time and place your ring in her hand.

[Officiant] Bride, if it be your wish for Groom to be bound to you, place the ring on his finger. (places ring on Groom's left ring finger) Bride I have not the right to bind thee to Groom only you have this right. If it be your wish, say so at this time and place your ring in his hand.

[PRIEST] Groom, if it be your wish for Bride to be bound to you, place the ring on her finger.(places ring on Bride's left ring finger) (to Groom) Repeat after me:

I, (grooms full name), in the name of the spirit of God that resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood and the love that resides within my heart, take thee (bride's full name) to my hand, my heart, and my spirit, to be my chosen one. To desire thee and be desired by thee, to possess thee, and be possessed by thee, without sin or shame, for naught can exist in the purity of my love for thee. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself.

(to Bride)
I (bride's full name), in the name of the spirit of God that resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood, and the love that resides within my heart, take thee, (Groom's full name) to my hand, my heart, and my spirit to be my chosen one. To desire and be desired by thee, to possess thee, and be possessed by thee, without sin or shame, for naught can exist in the purity of my love for thee. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself.

[Officiant]
(hands chalice to the groom, saying:) May you drink your fill from the cup of love.

(Groom holds chalice to bride while she sips then bride takes chalice and holds it to groom while he sips. The chalice is then handed back to the Priest who sets it on the table. Next the Priest takes the plate of bread, giving it to the groom. Same procedure repeated with bread, groom feeding bride and bride feeding groom.)

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Friends, family and members of the community, welcome to this ceremony which will unite two souls in marriage. Marriage is an institution which should not be entered into lightly, it is the union of two souls, two hearts and two minds.

The Celtic trinity, which is a centuries old profession of faith, holds that trust in the soul, belief in the heart and faith in the mind, are all that is needed to lead an honorable, loving and fulfilled life.

The Celtic conception of the soul encompasses far more than we traditionally think of today. The Celtic belief of the soul exists within and outside the individual; it is manifest in the trees, the rocks, the waters and the Sun. The relationship between humans and the world around them is intertwined. The soul is inextricably tied to the universal spirit of the Earth.

In marriage, your souls will join together so that your strengths shall be twice as great and your hardships will be only half as hard. As you share the ale/wine from this wedding cup let it remind you to trust in your soul which is the universal spirit. Trust in its strength and it will strengthen the bond between you.

I understand that they have written their own vows. Groom, will you please read your vows now? Bride…

If you want instead, here are some “traditional” Celtic Wedding Vows to choose from

"You cannon possess me for I belong to myself
But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give
You cannon command me, for I am a free person
But I shall serve you in those ways you require
and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand"

"I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night and
the eyes into which I smile in the morning
I pledge to you the first bite of my meat and the first drink from my cup
I pledge to you my living and my dying, each equally in your care
I shall be a shield for your back and you for mine
I shall not slander you, nor you me
I shall honor you above all others, and when we quarrel we shall do so in
private and tell no strangers our grievances"

"This is my wedding vow to you
This is the marriage of equals."

==================================
I vow you the first cut of my meat, the first sip of my wine,
from this day it shall only your name I cry out in the night
and into your eyes that I smile each morning;
I shall be a shield for you back as you are for mine,
no shall a grievous word be spoken about us,
for our marriage is sacred between us and no stranger shall hear my grievance.
Above and beyond this, I will cherish and honor you through this life
and into the next.

============================================
Ye are Blood of my Blood, and Bone of my Bone.
I give ye my Body, that we Two might be One.
I give ye my Spirit, `til our Life shall be Done.
You cannon possess me for I belong to myself
But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give
You cannon command me, for I am a free person
But I shall serve you in those ways you require
and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.

Groom, please take Bride's ring, and as you place it on the ring finger of her left hand, repeat after me . . . I (Groom), do take (bride) for my wife and vow to be mindful in our journey together, to love her and to cherish her, to trust in the universal soul, to have belief in my heart and faith in my mind. From this day forward our souls will be as one.

Bride, please take Groom's ring, and as you place it on the ring finger of his left hand, repeat after me . . . I (Bride), do take (Groom) for my husband and vow to be mindful in our journey together, to love her and to cherish her, to trust in the universal soul, to have belief in my heart and faith in my mind. From this day forward our souls will be as one.

Know now before you go further, that since your lives have crossed you have formed ties between each other. As you seek to enter this noble state of matrimony, you should strive to make real, the ideals which give meaning to both this ceremony and the institution of marriage. The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union; they will cross the years and lives of your growth. Do you still seek to enter this ceremony?
Yes. We seek to enter.

Groom, will you share in Bride's pain and seek to alleviate it?
I will.
Bride, will you share in Groom's pain and seek to alleviate it?
I will.
And so the binding is made. Please join you hands (in a figure 8 position). The first cord is placed on the bride and groom's hand.

Groom, will you share in Bride's laughter and look for the brightness and the positive in her?
I will.
Bride, will you share in Groom's laughter and look for the brightness and positive in him?
I will.
And so the binding is made. The second cord is placed on the bride and groom's hands.

Groom, will you share in Bride's burdens so that your spirits may grow in this union?
I will.
Bride, will you share in Groom's burdens so that your spirits may grow in this union?
I will.
And so the binding is made. The third cord is placed on the hands.

Groom, will you share in Bride's dreams?
I will.
Bride, will you share in Groom's dreams?
I will.
And so the binding is made. The fourth cord is placed on the hands.

Groom, will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union?
I will.
Bride, will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union?
I will.
And so the binding is made. The fifth cord is placed on the hands.

Groom, will you honor Bride as an equal in this union?
I will.
Bride, will you honor Groom as an equal in this union?
I will.
And so the binding is made. The sixth cord is placed on the hands.

Tie the cords together.
The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords buy instead by your vows. Whether this union will last or break is in your hands based on your communication, love, honor and trust of one another.
The cords are then removed.

Loving Cup Ceremony

On this your wedding day, we celebrate the Celtic spirit of the anam cara. Anam cara is translated from the Gaelic as "soul friend." By entering in a partnership with your anam cara, you are joined in an ancient and eternal way with this person whom you most cherish. In everyone`s life there is a great need for an anam cara and so I ask you to toast one another by repeating the following.

(The Bride and Groom hold the loving cup as they repeat the following)

Bride If you’ll repeat after me:

Today I recognize Groom, my anam cara
And ask that you become a part of me, in sacred kinship.
With you, I have lost all fear and have found the greatest courage.
I have learned to love and let myself be loved.
With you, I have found a rhythm of grace and gracefulness.
Love has reawakened in my life; a rebirth; a new beginning.
With you my anam cara,
I am understood,
I am home.

Groom If you’ll repeat after me:

Today I recognize Bride, my anam cara
And ask that you become a part of me, in sacred kinship.
With you, I have lost all fear and have found the greatest courage.
I have learned to love and let myself be loved.
With you, I have found a rhythm of grace and gracefulness.
Love has reawakened in my life; a rebirth; a new beginning.
With you my anam cara,
I am understood,
I am home.

And now, please drink to the love you`ve shared in the past.
(The couple take turns sipping from the loving cup)

Drink to your love in the present, on this your wedding day.
(The couple take turns sipping from the loving cup)

And drink to your love in the future and forever more.
(The couple take turns sipping from the loving cup)

The Celts believed that the way you view your future actually shapes it. I now ask everyone here in the room to take a moment to visualize a future for the Bride and Groom. As a group let`s think of the happiness in store for Bride and Groom. Let`s put their joyous future out to the universe.

Having faith in your mind is the last concept of the Celtic trinity. May each of you maintain your independence of mind, respecting each others thoughts and trying to learn from one an another. May positive thoughts always guide you. These candles represent the light that burns away the darkness of ignorance. May you always strive to keep your mind bright, sharp and uncluttered. Your mindfulness will add joy and ease to your marriage.

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At the day and time appointed for solemnization of Matrimony, the persons to be married shall come into the porch of the Church with their friends and neighbors; and there standing together, the Man on the right hand, and the woman on the left, with that person who shall give the Woman betwixt them, the Priest shall say,

Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honourable estate, instituted of God in Paradise, and into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. Therefore if any man can shew any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, by God's Law, or the Laws of the Realm; let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace.

I require and charge you both, as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgment when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment, why ye may not be lawfully joined together in Matrimony, that ye confess it. For ye be well assured, that so many as be coupled together otherwise than God's Word doth allow are not joined together by God; neither is their Matrimony lawful.

Groom, Wilt thou have this Woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?

Bride, Wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?

They shall then advance unto the Altar, led by the Minister, who shall then turn to the assembled company, and the person who gives the Woman shall place the Woman's right hand in the hand of the Minister, and then shall retire. Then shall they give their troth to each other in this manner:

The Minister, receiving the Woman at her father's or friend's hands, shall cause the Man with his right hand to take the Woman by her right hand, and to say after him as follows,

I, Groom, take thee Bride to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, for fairer or fouler, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us depart, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereunto I plight thee my troth.

I Bride take thee Groom to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to be bonny and buxom at bed and at board, to love and to cherish, till death us depart, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereunto I plight thee my troth.

Then shall they again loose their hands; and the Man shall give unto the Woman a Ring, laying the same upon the Book with the accustomed duty to the Priest and Clerk. And the Priest shall bless the Ring(s) in the following manner :

Bless these Rings, O merciful Lord, that those who wear them, that give and receive them, may be ever faithful to one another, remain in your peace, and live and grow old together in your love, under their own vine and fig tree, and seeing their children's children. Amen.

And the Priest, taking the Ring, shall deliver it to the Man, and taught by the Priest, he shall say,

With this Ring I thee wed, (here placing it upon her thumb) and with my body I thee honor, (here placing it upon her index finger) and with all my worldly goods I thee endow; (here placing it upon her ring finger) In the Name of the Father, + and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

If it be a double-ring ceremony, let the Woman do the same as the Man, giving him the ring, and repeating the same words as he.

Let us pray.. O Eternal God, Creator and Preserver of all mankind, Giver of all spiritual grace, the Author of everlasting life; Send thy blessing upon these thy servants, this man and this woman, whom we bless in thy Name; + that, as Isaac and Rebecca lived faithfully together, so these persons may surely perform and keep the vow and covenant betwixt them made, whereof this Ring given and received is a token and pledge, and may ever hereafter remain in perfect love and peace together, and live according to thy laws; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

And here shall be said the "Our Father." Then shall the Priest join their right hands together, and say,

Forasmuch as Groom and Bride have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth each to the other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving of a Ring, and by joining of hands; I pronounce therefore that they be Man and Wife together, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen

God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord mercifully with his favour look upon you; and so fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace, that ye may so live together in this life, that in the world to come ye may have life everlasting. Amen.

And here the Minister shall turn the couple to the Company, and they may kiss each the other, and then proceed from the Altar.