Dear
family and friends, we have gathered here today to witness and celebrate the
wedding of Groom and Bride. Surrounded as we are by those we most love,
let us turn our hearts and minds to the two before us who wish to bind their
lives together, in peace, and in love, thus celebrating, in the best of the
Humanist tradition, the beauty and joy of life.
It has been said that no man is an
island entire to himself. We are
involved in all humanity and each time two people come together to blend their
lives as one, it is a reaffirmation of human courage, hope and love. Marriage is the supreme sharing of experience
and an adventure in the most intimate of human relationships. It is the joyous uniting of a couple whose
comradeship and mutual understanding have flowered into romance. Today, Groom and Bride proclaim their love to
the world and we who are gathered here rejoice with them and for them in the
new life they now undertake together.
Marriage
is the promise of hope between two people who love each other sincerely, who
honor each other as individuals, and who wish to unite their lives and share
the future together. In this ceremony, they dedicate themselves to the
happiness and well-being of each other, in a union of mutual caring and
responsibility. We rejoice with them
that out of all the world they have found each other; and that they will
henceforth find the deeper meaning and richness of human life in sharing it
with each other.
Your marriage requires “love.” When we love, we see things other people do
not see. To see with loving eyes is to
know inner beauty and to be loved is to be seen and known as we are known to no
other. When you give yourself, heart and
mind, into the hands of the one you love, you receive that most precious of
gifts - the life and love of another. We
are loved when another human being wants us, wishes to share their life with
us, accepts us, without qualification or reservation, not as perfect, but as
human, with strengths and weaknesses.
Love endures only when the lovers
love many things together and not merely each other. When they share the same values, hold the
same interests. You will need to be able
to trust one another and learn, as well, to depend on one another. Do not forget the love that you share today,
try to continue to show your appreciation and admiration on a daily basis
throughout the rest of your lives.
A successful marriage is based on
love, equality, respect, and commitment on the part of both, in which each must
adjust to the other's temperaments and moods.
In marriage two persons turn to each other in search of greater
fulfillment than either can achieve alone.
Marriage should be a growing and dynamic relationship, a dream of
tomorrow in which we grow and fulfill our possibilities. It is wondrous when someone believes in the
dream of ourselves and wants to live with us and help make these dreams and
aspirations come true.
Marriage is a dedication. You give yourself, your life and love, into
the hands of the one you love. You do so
trustingly and generously. Yet, each of
you also receives a gift – the life and love of the other. You receive this gift not only from the one
you love, but also from their family and friends. We are here to share your joy and to witness
your first steps along the path that you are now to tread together. May it be a path of deepening and widening
love that you shall travel together until the end of your days.
Two among us who have stood apart,
come now in our presence to declare their love, and to be united in marriage,
facing the world strong, with the courage of two. May they learn to share life’s trials, and
grow in understanding and devotion to each other. May love and companionship abide in the home
they establish. May they grow old
together, in health and contentment, ever grateful for the union of their lives
so that they will say “Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.” May they wake up each morning glorying in the
joy that they awake once again next to their chosen one, their beloved. May
they always need one another, not to fill an emptiness, but to help each other
know fullness. May they embrace one
another, but not encircle one another.
May they have happiness, and may they find it in making one another
happy. May they have love, and may they
find it in loving one another.
Now we have Bride and Groom before
us, who wish to take their place among those who have said yes to living, yes
to the hard task of loving, and yes to the best that humanity stands for. This celebration is the outward token of an
inner union of hearts. It is a union created
by their loving purpose and kept by their abiding will. It is in this spirit and for this purpose
that they have come here to be joined together.
I
understand that they have written their own vows. Groom, will you please read your vows
now? Bride…
We are especially grateful for the
values that have been instilled in Bride and Groom from those who have loved
and nurtured them. The family and
friends each brings to this marriage will continue to be important in their
lives, but now will be shared between them, and will be enriched and
enlarged. Do you, who are here present,
promise and commit yourselves to support and uphold their union?
(Answer:
“We do”)
Our celebration of the union of Groom
and Bride is shared by those who have passed beyond this life. Their roles in the lives of Groom and Bride
are no less remembered and honored as we savor today’s joyous moments. Join with us, then, in fond memory of all
these people, and in particular with (departed relatives names). In their memory, let us be silent together.
Traditionally, the marriage ceremony
is marked by the exchange of rings. The
wedding ring is a symbol of the unbroken circle of love; a reminder that love
freely given has no beginning and no end, no giver and no receiver - for each
is the giver and each is the receiver.
May these rings remind you always of the vows you have taken here today.
Groom, please take Bride's ring, and
as you place it on the ring finger of her left hand, repeat after me . . . With
this ring I thee wed . . . promising to love and
respect you, . . . sharing good times and bad, . . . in sickness and in health.
Bride, please take Groom's ring, and
as you place it on the ring finger of his left hand, repeat after me . . . With
this ring I thee wed . . . promising to love and respect you, . . . sharing
good times and bad, . . . in sickness and in health.
Since you love each other in your
hearts, and have promised to help each other to live and grow, in wisdom and
compassion, with these rings you bind your lives together for as long as you
both shall live.
(Optional Unity Candle or Sand Ceremony)
The miracle of love is like the
miracle of a flower. It thrives upon the
sunshine of a smile. It entwines itself
around the heart. Its roots are secured
in the memories of yesterday, and its petals breathe the promise of joy filled
tomorrows. To be loved is to know
happiness and contentment. To give love
is to know the joy of sharing oneself.
It is through the miracle of love that we discover the fullness of life.
Bride and Groom, now you will feel no
rain, for each of you will be shelter to the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you
will be warmth to the other. Now there
is no more loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are one heart in two bodies, and
there is only one life before you. Now
you enter into the days of your togetherness . . . May those days be good, and
long, upon this earth.
Bride and Groom, as you embark on this wonderful journey ahead of you, hand in hand, experiencing life together, may all that is true and beautiful be with you always . . . May there be peace in your home, quietness and confidence in your thoughts, and joy and celebration in your hearts.
Dear friends and family, since Groom
and Bride have thus pledged themselves in the presence of this company and they
have spoken the words and performed the rites which unite their lives, I do
now, by the powers vested in me by the laws of the State of Kansas/Missouri,
pronounce that you are husband and wife.
Groom,
you may now kiss Bride.
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Here are some examples of sample vows if you prefer not to write your own:
Groom, repeat after me:
I Groom take you Bride to be my wife /
I promise above all else to live in truth with you/
and to communicate fully and fearlessly/
I give you my hand and my heart /
as a sanctuary of warmth and peace/
and pledge my love, devotion, faith and honor
as I join my life to yours.
Bride, repeat after me:
I Bride take you Groom to be my husband/
I promise above all else to live in truth with you/
and to communicate fully and fearlessly/
I give you my hand and my heart /
as a sanctuary of warmth and peace/
and pledge my love, devotion, faith and honor
as I join my life to yours.
------------------------------------------
I, [Groom's name], take you [Bride's name], to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love.
I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever.
I will trust you and honor you
I will laugh with you and cry with you.
I will love you faithfully
Through the best and the worst,
Through the difficult and the easy.
What may come I will always be there.
As I have given you my hand to hold
So I give you my life to keep
I, [Bride's name], take you [Groom's name], to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love.
I will cherish our friendship and love you today,
tomorrow, and forever
I will trust you and honor you
I will laugh with you and cry with you.
I will love you faithfully
Through the best and the worst,
Through the difficult and the easy.
What may come I will always be there.
As I have given you my hand to hold
So I give you my life to keep
------------------------------------------
(Name), I take you to be my lawfully wedding (husband/wife).
Before these witnesses I vow to love you and care for you
as long as we both shall live.
I take you, with all your faults and your strengths,
as I offer myself to you with my faults and my strengths.
I will help you when you need help,
and will turn to you when I need help.
I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.
**********************************************************************************************************************
Some couples like to add special options to their ceremony. These might include vows to children, a unity candle, a hand-holding ceremony, or a rose ceremony. Some examples of these are below.
Optional Vows to Children
Not only do I promise to be a good husband/wife to you,
but I also give my promise to be a patient, loving father/mother to
__________ and________, caring for them and providing for them as my
own. I promise to be their strength and their emotional support, loving
them with all my heart from this day forward.
------------------------------------------
As the two of us are joined on this day, we become part
of each other: your feelings become my feelings; your sorrows become my
sorrows; your joys become my joys; your cares become my cares, and your
child/children become(s) my child/children. I promise to be a true and
faithful husband/wife and father/mother, always there to comfort you,
rejoice with you and endure all the complexities of life that we will
face together as a family over the years to come. My love for you and
this/these child/children is pure and unshakable, and I hereby commit
myself to both/all of you from this day forward.
------------------------------------------
I have promised to love you and to be your
husband/wife, but I would like to add another vow, a promise to love
__________________ as my own child, to provide for him/her and to be a
faithful father/mother, always concerned for his/her welfare and
his/her needs.
------------------------------------------
_______________, I love your Mommy/Daddy very, very
much, and today I have taken her/him as my wife/husband. But you know
that I love you dearly as well. I want to be as a father/mother to you,
and I invite you into my heart. We will have happy times together, you
and your Mommy/Daddy and I. And with this (ring or other token) I
pledge to you my love.
------------------------------------------
Celebrant (to groom/bride —- referring to
child): And do you, _______________ take________________ as your own,
promising to love her/him and care for her/him, providing for her/him
needs, material and spiritual?
Groom: I do.
Celebrant (to child): And do you, __________ take _______________ to be your loving father/mother from this day forward?
Child: I do.
Groom/Bride (to child): ________________, I give you this (ring or
other token) as a symbol of the loving promise I have made to you this
day.
Unity Candle
Ceremonies
1
This candle
you are about to light is a candle of Marriage, a light of two people in love. This
candle before you is a candle of Commitment because it takes two people working
together to keep it aflame. This candle
is also a candle of Unity because both must come together, giving a spark of
themselves, to create the new light.
As you light
this candle today, may the brightness of the flame shine throughout your lives.
May it give you courage and reassurance in darkness. Warmth and safety in the cold. And strength and joy in your hearts.
2
Groom and Bride the two lighted candles symbolize your separate lives,
your separate families and your separate sets of friends. I ask that you each
take one candle and that together you light the center candle. The individual
candles represent your individual lives before today. Lighting the center
candle represents that your two lives are now joined to one light, and
represents the joining together of your two families and sets of friends to
one.
3
Groom and Bride as on this day you have made a new light
together, may you also continue to recognize that separateness from which your
relationship has sprung. May the lights of your own special lives continue to
feed the new flame of love which can make your future -- with its hopes and
disappointments, its successes and failures, its pleasures and its pains, its
joys and its sorrows -- a future filled with warmth and love.
Unity Sand Ceremony
Instead of lighting one candle from two, pour two containers of sand into a
third container simultaneously. (If children are a part of the new family, the
sand ceremony can involve them also. Some families choose a different color for
each member.)
1
Bride and Groom, you have just sealed your relationship by the giving
and receiving of rings and the exchange of a kiss, and this covenant is a
relationship pledge between two people who agree that they will commit
themselves to one another throughout their lives. The most beautiful example of
this partnership is the marriage relationship. You have committed here today to
share the rest of your lives with each other. Today, this relationship is
symbolized through the pouring of these two individual containers of sand one,
representing you, Scotty and all that you were, all that you are, and all that
you will ever be, and the other representing you, Groom, and all that you were
and all that you are, and all that you will ever be. As these two containers of
sand are poured into the third container, the individual containers of sand
will no longer exist, but will be joined together as one. Just as these grains
of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers,
so will your marriage be.
2
Bride
and Groom, today you join your separate lives together. The two separate
bottles of sand symbolize your separate lives, separate families and separate
sets of friends. They represent all that you are and all that you’ll ever be as
an individual. They also represent your lives before today. As these two
containers of sand are poured into the third container, the individual
containers of sand will no longer exist, but will be joined together as one.
Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual
containers, so will your marriage be.
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Handfasting Ritual
with Six Cords
Yes. We seek to enter.
Groom,
will you share in Bride's pain and seek to alleviate it?
I will.
Bride,
will you share in Groom's pain and seek to alleviate it?
I will.
And
so the binding is made. Please join you hands (in a figure 8 position). The first cord is placed on the bride and
groom's hand.
Groom,
will you share in Bride's laughter and look for the brightness and the positive
in her?
I will.
Bride,
will you share in Groom's laughter and look for the brightness and positive in
him?
I will.
And
so the binding is made. The second cord
is placed on the bride and groom's hands.
Groom,
will you share in Bride's burdens so that your spirits may grow in this union?
I will.
Bride,
will you share in Groom's burdens so that your spirits may grow in this union?
I will.
And
so the binding is made. The third cord is
placed on the hands.
Groom,
will you share in Bride's dreams?
I will.
Bride,
will you share in Groom's dreams?
I will.
And
so the binding is made. The fourth cord
is placed on the hands.
Groom,
will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this
union?
I will.
Bride,
will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this
union?
I will.
And
so the binding is made. The fifth cord is
placed on the hands.
Groom,
will you honor Bride as an equal in this union?
I will.
Bride,
will you honor Groom as an equal in this union?
I will.
And
so the binding is made. The sixth cord is
placed on the hands.
Tie the cords together.
The
knots of this binding are not formed by these cords buy instead by your vows.
Whether this union will last or break is in your hands based on your
communication, love, honor and trust of one another.
The cords are then
removed.
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Hand-holding Ceremony
Please face each other and hold hands, so you may feel the gift that you are to one another.
These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.
These are the hands that will work alongside yours as together you build your future.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other.
These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief wracks your mind.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.
These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.
These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.
And, lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.
***************************************************************************************
Rose Gift to Mothers
(The Rose
Gift is usually placed near the beginning of the ceremony, just after the
officiant's welcoming statements and introduction to the ceremony.)
Officiant
holds a vase with two long-stemmed red roses...
OFFICIANT:
This wedding is also a celebration of family. It is the blending of two
families, the (Family Name)s and the (Family Name)s, separate up to this
moment, but united from this day forward -- blending their different
traditions, strengthening the family tree. Parents plant so that their children
may harvest. Mothers cry when their children hurt, and welcome pain and burden
to give their sons and daughters the gift of life.
(Bride) and
(Groom) wish to honor this blending of the families by presenting a rose to
their mothers -- to thank their parents for the many selfless sacrifices they
have made and for their unconditional love so freely given to their children.
(Bride
& Groom exchange hugs with her parents and present a rose to her mother.)
(Bride
& Groom exchange hugs with his parents and present a rose to his mother.)